Funny Typos

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“When in the course of writing events, it becomes necessary for each author to resolve ambiguities over typos. Always assume among the powers of the publishing world, the separate and equal insistence, that manuscript errors are inherently egregious.

“We hold these typos to be self-evident, even though all typos are created equal, that they are unintentionally emboldened by their author with certain ‘mistakable’ rights, that among these are errors, gaffes and the pursuit of embarrassment.”

For beginning writers, or any level writer for that matter, please don’t anguish over making typos. Don’t beat yourself up over them. Understand that typos come with the territory. Instead of feeling disgusted and embarrassed, enjoy them. They can be very entertaining … and they’re easy enough to fix. After all, they’re going to happen no matter what.  Editing is usually the procedure where they die a timely death.

Many a typo has been accidentally composed by the best of writers, but the worst of them (and the funniest) never see the light of the publishing world. Beginning authors never get to say, “See, those writers are seasoned authors … and they make the same mistakes I do! It’s kind of like being a weekend golfer and watching the pros on TV … and how we revel in the mistakes they make! It brings them down to our level of inconsistent expertise.

In December of 2016, I reached a milestone in writing. I penned my 3,000,000th word. Here are some eye-rolling, some embarrassing, some funny typos I made SINCE THEN while writing the first four books of my Albacron sci-fi series. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

1 – I am a bored member of this organization. (board)

2 – When the headset is plugged into the jack and it turns, the connection is lost. Giggling re-establishes contact. (wiggling)

3 – I turned to see the aircraft go up in a ball of fame. (flame)

4 – We crapt back on our hands and knees. (crept)

5 – The crowd erupted in shooting. (shouting)

6 – I truly livered moment to moment. (lived)

7 – I will resign my position once my germ is up next year. (term)

8 – Vega and Raya entered and stared at me, their moths dropping open. (mouths)

9 – Electra turned to see Vega writing on the floor. (writhing)

10. The charge is to pour society. (change – our)

11. I trolled over and staggered to my feet. (rolled)

12. Which was do we go? (way)

13. Rabidovich picked up his form and jabbed some of the white meat with it. (fork)

14. Had our Grand Elite Corps not ceased her family …. (seized)

15.  I looked at the doors and determined they swung wither way. (either)

16. He stared at it and shirted his gaze to mine. (shifted)

17. Medicine Bow Peak is prominent, and the terrain would make it hard to get two. (to)

18. I was trying to get the police offers out of their cars. (officers)

19. I grasped her hand in mint. (mine)

20. How can you even say that without creaking a smile? (cracking)

21. You’re just too funny for worlds. (words)

22. Gemma lifted her can and shoved it back into the sand. (cane)

23. I stared into her yes. (eyes)

24. She sifted her gaze from me to Calypso. (lifted)

25. In his room, he walked to his bead and reached for the headboard. (bed)

26. I leaned toward the small opening and cupped my lips around my mouth. (hands)

27. It quieted enough to hear an aunt crawling. (ant)

28. China develops a military might second to nine. (none)

29. I tiled my head. (tilted)

30. Many of these problems are germane to moist writers. (most)

31. A squad of Grand Elite corpsmen steamed in and held their guns on the other corpsmen. (stormed)

32. They stood before the mighty trunk of the ear tree. (pear)

33. Chara whipped a finger to her ips. (lips)

34. Looking at Chara, she caught my gas and laughed as well. (gaze)

35. He stepped up to the golden grossbar and eased his hands on it. (crossbar)

36. She fattened her lips and drew the ends up into a clownish smile. (flattened)

37. He paused, and his yes glassed over for several seconds. (eyes)

38. The winged aircraft shot through our field of vision in a spit-second. (split-second)

39. I graped his hand and held it close to my side. (grasped)

40. Viola! You’re standing in the white light on the ground. (Voila)

41. The title wave gushed across the lake toward Pollux and me. (tidal)

42. Step out as I call you names, please. (your)

43. And the morale of the story is …? (moral)

44. Cupido leaned toward her, stuck his thumb on his nose with his fingers extended, and wigged them. (wiggled)

45. I turned in time to see another militiaman swig his fist. (swing)

46. She fattened her lips and drew the ends up into a clownish smile. (flattened)

47. Stopping short of the purple-robbed leader … (purple-robed)

48. I strode around the table and eased a hand on her should. (shoulder)

49. A dozen black, glass-like widows, measuring two by three inches, arranged in three rows of four each. (windows)

50. I moved closer and sung an arm around her waist. (slung)

51. She pointed to the door being her. (behind her)

52. “Hand me my bag.” Esmeralda did and I rotted through it. (rooted)

53. If word hasn’t reached authorities about your escape through the telegraph… (No, no! No one escapes through a telegraph line. See the fix?)

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